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Top 5 baloney (or Spanish beef) excuses for failing a doping control

On Monday, UK Anti-Doping (UKAD) rejected Jonathan Tiernan-Locke’s claim that an alcoholic binge was responsible for biological passport irregularities.  A variation of Tiernan-Locke’s boozy defence has been tried before by a different rider (see below). In light of the British cyclist’s dodgy claim, we look back at the top-five eyebrow-raising excuses for failing a doping control.

5. On the final rest day of the 2010 Tour de France, Alberto Contador enjoyed a steak from his home country of Spain. He also had a random blood test that day, which later revealed 50 picograms per millilitre of clenbuterol in his system. The stimulant can be used to build muscle and lose weight. The steak was blamed as the source of the clenbuterol. Contador was then hit with a two-year ban and was stripped of his 2010 Tour de France win. Not all clenbuterol cases, however, are created equal. Contador’s Tinkoff-Saxo teammate returned to racing earlier this year after facing a provisional ban from racing. He tested positive for clenbuterol and says the source was meat he eat while racing in China. The UCI cleared Rogers after four months of suspension.

4. After riding 120 km in a solo breakaway on a stage that featured five categorized climbs and winning the stage, Floyd Landis was back in contention for the 2006 Tour de France. Later, a test showed that the American cyclist had synthetic testosterone in his system. He mused that it might have been the Jack Daniels he consumed the night before his spectacular Stage 17 ride that set off alarms in the test.

3. Dutch rider Adri van der Poel tested positive strychnine in 1983. The substance, which is more commonly used as a poison, can act as a stimulant in smaller doses. The source of the strychnine was said to be van der Poel’s father’s pigeon pie. His dad raced pigeons, doped-up pigeons it seems, and the strychnine seemed to make its way up the food chain. Van der Poel retired from cycling in 2000 with palmares that include two Tour de France stage wins, seven national cyclocross championships and one world cyclocross championship.

2. Before the world championships in September 2007, Björn Leukemans tested positive for synthetic testosterone. One explanation that came from the Belgian rider was that he was having sex when authorities showed up for a test. On the defence, Wilhelm Schänzer of the anti-doping lab in Cologne, Germany, said it best: “If you ask whether sex has an influence on testosterone levels, I say: sex has nothing to do with synthetic testosterone.”

1. Tyler Hamilton was accused of blood doping in April 2005. To explain the presence of someone else’s blood in the American rider’s system, an expert argued that Hamilton was a chimera, a twin without a twin. In a case of chimerism, two babies develop in utero. One dies early on and is absorbed by the mother. Cells from a vanishing twin were said to have been absorbed by Hamilton in this case.  In Phil Gaimon’s recent book, Pro Cycling on $10 a Day, the Garmin-Sharp rider ironically dedicates his book not only to Hamilton’s chimeric sibling but also the testicle Lance Armstrong lost to cancer in edgy jab at the cyclists who’d been caught for doping.