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How Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop is making cycling look absurd

Notoriously luxurious gift guide has nothing on "normal" 2023 bike prices

Photo by: Goop / Schindelhauer

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop gift guide is legendary, if not always for great reasons. The annual holiday list has shocked and entertained readers with its absurd luxury for more than a decade. This year’s list is being labeled everything from “outlandish and over-the-top” to “sick.” What does this have to do with cycling?

Well, there are three bikes on Goop’s radar in ’22. And, for a list that is known for jaw-dropping prices, all three bikes are … reasonably priced? At least, they are reasonably priced compared to other bikes currently on the market. All three would fall between mid-range and high-end, but their price tags certainly hang well below the top tier of what is available.

Which leads to a question. What does it mean for our sport when bike prices make Goop look reasonable?

Before we get ahead of ourselves, lets look at Goop’s gifts versus what is available out there for bikes.

Goop versus cycling industry

Cycling makes three appearances in Goop’s 2022 gift guide. Let’s look at each, and see how what the cycling industry considers acceptable pricing compares to what the wellness industry considers luxury.

Between the men’s Hermes Birkin Rock bag (“As punk rock as Hermès gets” – $36,600) and Bolin Webb’s R1 Prestige 24-Karat gold razor set (downright affordable compared to Campy’s $2,800 bottle opener at $425.00) is a Linus Roadster 7i. Described as “the perfect city bike,” the Roadster will set you back $998. That isn’t out of line with what big brands like Trek and Specialized are offering in the single-speed commuter category. But if you want luxury, Rivendell will sell you its Rosco Platypus for $1,350. And that is just for a small-batch production frame. Slightly less high-end, Soma’s Buena Vista is $900 but, again, for just the frame. For complete bikes, and standard production runs, Gazelle’s Tour Populaire T8 ($1,400), Schindelhauer Ludwig 14 ($3,520) and Creme Caferacer Man Doppio 7 ($1,273) all soar past the four-figure mark that Goop’s “perfect” Linus flirts with.

Moving on to the youth category, Goop squeezes a Linus Lil’ Dutchie 16″ kids bike ($369) between a Le Bonnet Petit Beanie (“Petit in size, Grande in style” $98) and, Aliito Dino Brilliance necklace ($490). All are child’s play compared to Specialized’s Hotwalk Carbon run bike which, at a staggering $999, costs more than all three Goop gifts combined.

Next up from Paltrow is the n+ Mercedes eBike ($5,800). Fine, this thing is a little crazy for a minimalist ebike commuter. On par with Porsche’s eBike accessories to the Taycan Cross SUV. Goop wins this round, but only by bringing in the Mercedes name. And if we’re talking automotive collaborations, the Specialized S-Works McLaren Tarmac blows it out of the water at CAD 21,400. As does every Ferrari and Bianchi crossover.

3T Exploro Racemax Boost Ultralight
3T Exploro Racemax Boost Ultralight

Luxury versus a new normal?

So, what does it mean for our sport when bike prices make Goop look reasonable? The answer is likely already clear to anyone who has looked at buying a bike in the last few years. Cycling has an affordability problem. And it’s not that Goop’s bikes aren’t nice or aren’t expensive. They are both. The problem is that it is easy to find a top-end bike that costs more, even without getting into custom bikes.

A bigger problem is that, while not a single Goop bike breaks the five-figure barrier, most brands offer at least one bike in every category, from road to mountain bike, that sails well clear of $10,000. Get into performance electric bikes, road or mountain, and the are options that easily clear $15,000. Sure, there are more affordable builds of those “halo” bikes, but prices for all models are more expensive.

Since we love this sport, we’ve eventually had to put our objections aside and buy something to ride, if we can. But maybe in the slow price-creep (that has become a trot, if not a gallop in recent years) we’ve lost touch with just how out of whack prices have become.