The absurdity of the Peloton bike’s marketing highlighted in a hilarious Twitter thread
Build yourself a multi million dollar mansion and put the exercise bike dead center in your nicest room
Your pain cave is probably far from glamorous. It’s a place for suffering where you can privately toil away working towards your dreams and aspirations for the coming summer. Your significant others make sure it’s out of the way so they can go about their daily lives without coming across your pain-distorted face from your masochistic ritual.
You put your trainer in the most undesirable corner of your living space, shamefully hidden away from the prying eyes of visitors. You prop your laptop on any nearby surface with a fan blowing full blast into your face for some minor respite from the suffering. This is the reality of indoor training. It’s not glamorous.
Peloton, the makers of an adjustable indoor exercise machine made for cycling with a built-in screen and access to spin class videos, seem to think otherwise. Their marketing material makes the machine the absolute centrepiece of any room. And oh my, what a pain cave they envision you having.
A Twitter user who goes by the handle @ClueHeywood took a closer look at some of the aspirational marketing material distributed by Peloton. With sarcastic, witty and amusing comments on photos, the unrealistic but very appealing idea of owning the exercise machine was highlighted in a hilarious way. The user masterfully making light of the surreal images depicting the peloton bike in stunning parts of seemingly multi-million dollar properties.
Take a look for yourself:
Love putting my Peloton bike in the most striking area of my ultra-modern $3 million house
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
Probably the worst thing about putting a Peloton bike in my spotless huge kitchen is when my dumb kid interrupts the workout. Where is Consuela? She has one job! pic.twitter.com/KYL5l1zTst
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
I had my carpenter build a $9,000 finished wood riser for my Peloton bike in my glass-enclosed zen garden/home gym pic.twitter.com/VJSOjctYtO
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
My Peloton is in the living room because it’s my favorite work of art aside from the turquoise marble peacock I keep in the fireplace. pic.twitter.com/fQyaK7PIjM
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
Sometimes I’ll move the Peloton bike into our gallery so I can spend time with my half gay husband while he reads Architectural Digest wearing combat boots pic.twitter.com/jdBWowR4z3
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
Last year we painstakingly remodeled a midcentury modern house in the hills, including furniture from the period. Then I put my Peloton bike right in the middle of the living room. pic.twitter.com/27aw5gD6ay
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
Our architect suggested a Peloton nook for our pied-à -terre. They do not belong in nooks. They belong where an observatory would be, if you didn’t own a Peloton.
We fired him. pic.twitter.com/p02yYLbE50
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019