What I learned from Zwift Academy: How to dream big again

There is a way to dream big, really, really big, “fail” and still be happy. It’s been a long time since I haven’t achieved a goal and was still satisfied with the experience. I’m pretty touchy about the subject after several years of racing mountain bike World Cups and having really high hopes, only to wonder why my legs decided to leave me stranded when things got hard. I was pretty burned out on doing anything ‘for the experience’ because when you are racing, there isn’t much ‘good’ experience to be had if you aren’t very strong. The WHY to that is a whole other story but the point is I didn’t have it and it killed me.

So, just as I was preparing to give up on being a professional cyclist (for my own sanity)….I got strong. Like, really strong. I don’t know if it’s professional cyclist-strong, but it was strong enough to convince me to dream again–which is intoxicating..

Enter Zwift Academy

This is where Zwift Academy comes in. I’d been thinking about Zwift Academy for several months, looking for any information online about when it would start for 2023. There was such little information that I was starting to wonder if it was a myth. But I held on, hoping it would materialize. I’m not usually very fast in November because I’d be just finishing my off season but this year – I had a pretty big serving of cyclocross with some UCI races as my carrot towards the end. (And secretly another big dream snuck in there,a chance to qualify for Cross Worlds) In other words, I was planning on being strong through November anyway.

It felt pretty weird to throw the trainer in the car when we left Nova Scotia in late September headed down to Georgia to race cross… and the first race was about 35 Celsius. Artur kept asking me, do we really need the trainer? And I would say YES! FOR ZWIFT ACADEMY! And he would shrug, like, “okay sure, you’re going to do a full season of cross AND do Zwift Academy.”

And that’s what I did. When the announcement came, a week before Zwift Academy was supposed to start, I wrote out a schedule of all of the cross races and the Zwift workouts. I sat my coach/husband Artur down and said look, I have to do all of this in six weeks. Probably less because we had planned on being back in Canada by now. I had several book events scheduled and everything. We figured out the minimum recovery I would need to be rested enough to race AND ride to the best of my ability. In other words, I was doing two to three race efforts per week. No biggie.

I was pretty optimistic about the workouts. I felt like I was flying in the cross races, so how hard could it be? The first workout was so hard it shattered me. I was sitting on the driveway questioning everything. I didn’t know if I could do one more workout let alone five more and two races. But I was determined not to give up until I really couldn’t push the pedals. Not wanting to suffer is not a reason to give up. Because all of the workouts are in ERG mode, it’s kind of a pass/fail situation. You can either push the power or you can’t end up to that point… I could. Zwift Academy is also a really economical way to really see if I was cut out for being a professional cyclist, which I still want the answer to; just not as desperately as I did before.

The fact that I could complete the workouts had me so stoked I felt like I was floating. I was buzzing with pride. The idea that I still might not be good enough kept creeping in, but I didn’t care. I was so proud of myself for continuing to show up and dare I say, enjoy it? This may be the closest I’ve ever been to self-identifying as a masochist. Even Artur would take a beat and say wait, are you smiling, are you actually enjoying this?!

The workout from Hell

Zwift Academy is excruciating. I commend anyone who completes even one workout. It’s difficult for two reasons–it’s physically difficult but even more so, mentally. The closest thing I can compare it to is doing a mountain bike stage race because you’re totally drained but you have to keep going. Out in the wilderness, at some point, you want to give up and you totally would, but you can’t. Because you’re just OUT THERE. You have to get back; you don’t have a choice.

But Zwift Academy, in the comfort of your own home…it would be so easy to stop. You almost don’t have to think about it. You could just…stop. So, when you choose to keep going, it’s invigorating. Your body is screaming at you to stop or slow down or something, anything, but you can’t because if you do, you fail. It’s over. The whole thing. So you keep pushing and the relief when you can finally rest is holy-shit-incredible. I just kept thinking–if I can do this–what else can I do?

I never thought I would feel so invincible from something as simple as riding the trainer. It’s not for everyone, but if you can stomach it, I highly recommend it. And it’s a lot more accessible than hucking yourself off the deep end into the backcountry.

Zwift Academy taught me that I’m a lot more capable than I thought and that’s priceless. No matter what happens next, I’m still happy. Zwift, thank you for the experience.

Mackenzie Myatt is the author of In Defense of Big Dreams, a book of poetry and photography about the idiosyncrasies of chasing excellence in sport and in life. It is designed to inspire girls and women to pursue their passion. She has competed in UCI MTB Bike World Cups and world championships with the Canadian national team. She is also former US collegiate mountain bike and road national champion. Myatt currently races whatever events excite her, no matter the discipline.

You can find her book and learn more at: stronggirlpublishing.com
Follow her on Instagram: @kenzimtber