This is the absolute worst person in a paceline

Group rides are always a great way to get some speed work in, especially when it comes to a super-fast paceline. When things get spicy, riders will line up single file and you better hold that wheel or you may get popped.

When you start riding in some faster group rides, you’ll definitely notice the difference when you’re drafting a wheel, versus not. If you fall off the back of a small pack of riders when the going gets fast, you’ll for sure notice your watts and heart rate go sky-high. So it’s important to hold the wheel.

Of course, even when you’re drafting, if things are really moving along, it can be tough to follow the wheel ahead of you. If that happens, you may find yourself on the verge of getting dropped. But you should never just sit up, as you’ll create a huge gap for the next rider. And they will not be pleased. Repeat: do not be a Sitter Upper. If you think you’re not going to make it, at least give the rider behind you some warning and flick your hand, move over and let him grab the draft. Do not just give up and make a giant gap. If that happens, the rider has three choices.

1. Swear at you and put in a massive effort and catch the wheel.
2. Grab your jersey and sling themselves forward.
3. Also drop back and quit cycling forever.

Seinfeld, Episode 26, “The Bagel Ride”

Jerry is standing over his kitchen counter, sipping a Snapple. He’s in his cycling gear talking to George, who is in his civvies. Jerry slams the Snapple down. He’s mad.

George
I take it you had a good ride?

Jerry
So I’m riding along, we’re going like 30 miles an hour, single paceline. I’m feeling good, like 130 heart rate.

George opens the fridge and takes out a jar of pickles and sticks his hand inside, fishing one out.

Jerry
What the hell are you doing?

George
I’m eating a pickle?

Jerry
And you’re sticking your disgusting little fingers inside? The same ones that just went on the NYC subway, which is basically a petri dish for filth and disease?

George
Hey! These are fine hands. Remember, I was a hand model.

Jerry
Right. Anyway. So I’m riding along, we’re going pretty fast, and then…Jacob Bernstein just sit ups.

George
He sits up?

Jerry
Sits up!

George
No hand motion?

Jerry
Not even a flick.

George
Well you need the flick.

Jerry
It’s common courtesy!

The buzzer buzzes.

Morty Seinfeld
We’re here!

Jerry
Come on up.

A minute later.

The door opens. It’s Jerry’s parents.

Helen Seinfeld
We just heard about Jacob Bernstein!

Jerry
What?

Morty Seinfeld
We heard he sat up!

Jerry
How did you–

Helen Seinfeld
Did he make any sort of gesture before he sat up?

Jerry
Not even a flick.

Morty Seinfeld
You need to make a gesture. It’s common courtesy!

Jerry looks at George and they both nod at each other.